My first brush with danger

When I was little, I liked to try to help my mom around the house.  The prior generations of my family have an obsession with housecleaning- it’s always happening, it’s never good enough, and everyone is secretly (or not so secretly) critical of everyone else’s homes.  My mom spent a lot of time cleaning to try to fit in and get her mom off her back.

One day, she was working on the bathrooms.  I decided to help out by taking the Liquid Plumber and a toilet brush out to the living room, where I proceeded to pour the chemical all over the carpet, rub the toilet brush in it, and then rub the brush on my head.  I was about 2 years old at the time, pre-childproof caps.

My mom came out to find me, and there I was, covered in Liquid Plumber, my skin getting redder by the minute and the chemicals dangerously dripping in my eyes.  Mom threw me in the shower to rinse all the chemicals off and then off to the doctor we went.  She was sure I was going to go blind from the chemicals in my eyes.  The doc pronounced me OK, and said I was too curious for my own good- something that sticks with me to this day.  Mom said when I got mad after than incident, you could see the red outline of the drip marks on my forehead.  Of course, you can’t see it today (that I’m aware of!).

I still don’t know how they got all that stuff out of the carpets.

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